Friday, March 8, 2013

I am funny. I think.

Today I think that I am pretty funny. I know... that's dangerous. But I do.

So here's some of what made me laugh when it came out of my head.

I still use asterisks to indicate actions while chatting, i.e. *cough*. So today while chatting with my wife I came up with *scoff cough* and *snot-laden snort* which both made her laugh and cringe respectively. I have a friend who says chat acronyms now instead of the actual words. He says, "LOL" (pronounced lah-wl), for example. I have been saying the word "scoff" in the same way for a while now. My wife thinks that's funny.

I also like to say that "I am a focus group of one." I think that's funny because of how arrogant it sounds, and that I actually believe it sometimes. I have such strong opinions about art and other design things that I really don't play well with others. I can articulate in obsessive detail why I feel strongly about anything in this realm. It's uber-nerdy.

We also got talking about memes and idioms yesterday. I realized that I had an incomplete understanding of idiomatic expressions. But after talking about them I get it now. They're essentially the sorts of statements that cannot be taken for their literal meanings. The sort of thing that a non-native speaker will be confused by.

"Down in the dumps"; "dead in the water"; and "in over my head" are some good examples.

Would "LOL" or "ROFL" be part of the new e-idioms? Surely, ROFLMAO would qualify, and ROFLCOPTER is just damn silly and beyond categorization.

Anyway, after January 1st my wife and I tried adopting a new expression that we'd try use when the opportunity arose. Hers is "So it has come to this." That's funny when she uses it at times when I am not expecting it, and where the gravitas of the statement is not in parallel with the actual circumstances. Mine was "See, this is why we can't have nice things." I liked it as a deadpan response to something tragic happening that didn't involve personal harm. But it a chance to use it doesn't come up that often (thankfully), and my wife was right in saying that it's only really funny if you say it within a group as if they were your family and you were scolding them. It's the fact that it's said outside of a relationship with those boundaries that is funniest.

So I don't like mine anymore. Instead, I may employ a nonsense phrase. I like, "SEE, THAT'S why I HATE lima beans!" I think it would be funny if you're annoyed by someone telling a story in which they're essentially complaining about life or circumstances in a way which sounds like victimstance or old-fashioned bitching to interrupt just near the end of it with "SEE, THAT'S why I HATE lima beans!" I think that it would catch them off guard. It'd definitely indicate how little I was listening to them.

I think that I am funny. I am probably self-deluded. But I have fun with my own fantasy that I am.

*scoff cough*