Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Blessed are the flexible for they'll not be bent out of shape.
May I learn to bend with the wind,
like a rock in a stream.
May I understand the patience,
of sincere transformation.
Mold my heart like play-doh,
press it into childlike shapes.
Quench the raging fires,
which cause my heart to burn.
Still my desperattion,
and quiet my labored breath.
For I am thoroughly fragile,
and completely broken.
My Unfathomable Love Reciprocated
I'm immeasurably blessed to be loved by my wife.
I am flabbergasted by how much I love her.
For the life of me,
I cannot figure out why she loves me.
But it's the gasoline in my tank,
She's the balm to my wounds,
I am flabbergasted by how much I love her.
For the life of me,
I cannot figure out why she loves me.
But it's the gasoline in my tank,
She's the balm to my wounds,
My muse and my counselor,
And her presence makes me swoon.
And her presence makes me swoon.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Good Friday
Today was the first time I have been able to attend an Episcopalian Good Friday service. We've been attending our church for about nine years now, but each year I have been unable or unwilling to take the time off to attend the service. Or, we've been traveling to our parents houses for Easter family time.
The latter has always been a tradition for both of our families. It's been a time to get together around the Christian holiday and have a brief visit, usually complicated by the fact that our places of employment don't give time off for it, and that my wife has often worked for churches. She works as a part-time lay minister right now for our church, and it seems important that she be here on most high holy days for that reason.
But usually we're out of town. This year, in my fortieth year on the planet, the time seemed right for what might be a permanent change. We decided to stay home and immerse ourselves in the traditions of our Holy Week. It's been great so far.
I've always been more inspired by penitence than celebration, so Holy Week seems to fit my worship posture (prostrate) of choice, and the Good Friday liturgy was incredibly profound. I must admit that it was quite a bit longer than I had liked, and that my knees and back were sore after the 75 minute service. But that seemed appropriate to the day.
What was most encouraging was the liturgy itself, which mentions many things in the solemn collects which I have never prayed for in a church, even ours. I remember praying for all levels of government by name, including the United Nations (which is the unique part), and a detailed set of prayers for people who don't know Christ, and for people of varying degrees of faith. There was a sense of the evangelical mixed with the thorough desire for unity among the body of Christ. That's not unusual, but the depth of the prayers was worth noting.
My wife noted appropriately that the anthems before the cross (kneeling) were also profound. I was feeling quite a bit of back pain by this point, and kneeling was making my knees hurt, so my focus was wavering. But I did not miss the sung anthem "Faithful Cross"...
Faithful Cross above all others,
One and only noble tree,
None in foliage, none in blossom,
None in fruit thy equal be,
Sweetest wood and sweetest iron,
Sweetest weight is hung on thee.
AMEN
(Venatius Honorious Fortunatus, tr. J.M. Neale)
Even communion was different, with humble vessels and without the full blessing, provided for us from the "reserve host" which was a very Catholic concept for me. I guess I keep thinking we're much more removed from the transubstantiation issue than we are. There's something which was very serious about that, and how much that signifies.
I've not sorted it all out yet, but my experience was powerful, albeit subtle. I was quieted and humbled by my own humanity in the presence of the divine. The old testament Psalm 22, read in unison was such a distinctly prophetic passage that it almost seemed silly that the folks who were studiers of the Psalms as part of the Torah were not sold on Jesus as their Messiah. But even now we reject Christ. I do so daily by my sin, and that does not make sense. If I could just keep the knowledge of this sort of experience in front of me at all times...
The latter has always been a tradition for both of our families. It's been a time to get together around the Christian holiday and have a brief visit, usually complicated by the fact that our places of employment don't give time off for it, and that my wife has often worked for churches. She works as a part-time lay minister right now for our church, and it seems important that she be here on most high holy days for that reason.
But usually we're out of town. This year, in my fortieth year on the planet, the time seemed right for what might be a permanent change. We decided to stay home and immerse ourselves in the traditions of our Holy Week. It's been great so far.
I've always been more inspired by penitence than celebration, so Holy Week seems to fit my worship posture (prostrate) of choice, and the Good Friday liturgy was incredibly profound. I must admit that it was quite a bit longer than I had liked, and that my knees and back were sore after the 75 minute service. But that seemed appropriate to the day.
What was most encouraging was the liturgy itself, which mentions many things in the solemn collects which I have never prayed for in a church, even ours. I remember praying for all levels of government by name, including the United Nations (which is the unique part), and a detailed set of prayers for people who don't know Christ, and for people of varying degrees of faith. There was a sense of the evangelical mixed with the thorough desire for unity among the body of Christ. That's not unusual, but the depth of the prayers was worth noting.
My wife noted appropriately that the anthems before the cross (kneeling) were also profound. I was feeling quite a bit of back pain by this point, and kneeling was making my knees hurt, so my focus was wavering. But I did not miss the sung anthem "Faithful Cross"...
Faithful Cross above all others,
One and only noble tree,
None in foliage, none in blossom,
None in fruit thy equal be,
Sweetest wood and sweetest iron,
Sweetest weight is hung on thee.
AMEN
(Venatius Honorious Fortunatus, tr. J.M. Neale)
Even communion was different, with humble vessels and without the full blessing, provided for us from the "reserve host" which was a very Catholic concept for me. I guess I keep thinking we're much more removed from the transubstantiation issue than we are. There's something which was very serious about that, and how much that signifies.
I've not sorted it all out yet, but my experience was powerful, albeit subtle. I was quieted and humbled by my own humanity in the presence of the divine. The old testament Psalm 22, read in unison was such a distinctly prophetic passage that it almost seemed silly that the folks who were studiers of the Psalms as part of the Torah were not sold on Jesus as their Messiah. But even now we reject Christ. I do so daily by my sin, and that does not make sense. If I could just keep the knowledge of this sort of experience in front of me at all times...
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Learning to Err.
http://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong.html
Today on facebook there was a TED video posted about what to learn from being wrong. That made me think that being wrong is what courageous people do well.
I, by contrast, am a coward. I detest being wrong, particularly if it was something which could be helped by good information or proper planning. I've learned to live with it uncomfortably, mostly because of nearly sixteen years of marriage. No amount of planning or information can keep me from just being wrong in the context of a marriage. I just am... and far too often.
I really, really hate to be wrong. I hate taking risks where I might fail. I avoid the opportunity to be wrong. This means that I am not taking risks which will employ my creativity, engage my mind, and inspire my soul.
I need to learn to be wrong-er. I need to be courageous enough to live.
Today on facebook there was a TED video posted about what to learn from being wrong. That made me think that being wrong is what courageous people do well.
I, by contrast, am a coward. I detest being wrong, particularly if it was something which could be helped by good information or proper planning. I've learned to live with it uncomfortably, mostly because of nearly sixteen years of marriage. No amount of planning or information can keep me from just being wrong in the context of a marriage. I just am... and far too often.
I really, really hate to be wrong. I hate taking risks where I might fail. I avoid the opportunity to be wrong. This means that I am not taking risks which will employ my creativity, engage my mind, and inspire my soul.
I need to learn to be wrong-er. I need to be courageous enough to live.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Uninformed Voters
A PBS "Need To Know" article recently compared uninformed voters to drunk drivers. That's been said before with less poignancy, but the reply has always been something about how our system is set up to insure that this isn't a problem, i.e. that's why we need the electoral college.
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/need-to-know/the-daily-need/are-bad-voters-like-drunk-drivers-new-book-says-they-are-and-that-they-should-stay-home-on-election-day/8609/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=fanpage&utm_campaign=pbs
In our current political climate, post Citizens United, where the attack ads are funded by anonymous benefactors like the Koch brothers via shadow groups like Americans for Prosperity, and often girded by faux research groups like their very own Cato Institute, I would wager that there are more misinformed voters by far. Few people invest enough time to do the research of understanding the basis for their own political opinions, even less the motivations of their candidates or the track record of their party of choice.
This is why I have no party. I am slightly more informed than the average American. I've learned this by traveling overseas, and by interacting with folks on all sides of issues at home and abroad. It's clear to me that Europeans have a more informed view of our national politics and its impact than we do. There are many reasons for that, but they're not justifications.
In the Upper Midwest (at least MN and WI) we work harder. Seriously, having worked in a field where I traveled on the road 90% for several years, working in AZ, CO, GA, NV, IL, MI, OH, IN, and others, I saw the difference in drive and commitment to hard work which is inherent to a Wisconsinite. I was told to slow down and take it easy in several states in varied dialects. I say this because it is part of the problem. In Wisconsin there are a large majority of folks who work very hard at their jobs, for less pay, and don't have time to invest in politics.
They rely on old fashioned values and litmus tests. They vote based upon a couple of issues and often vote a straight ticket. I always that way for years, and that was the way most of my church brethren and coworkers did too. We were sure that we were right, and we didn't bother to look any further.
We trusted our party leaders and elected GOP officials to do what they said. This was a very satisfying position to take. It was a religion-backed, morally superior, self-justified stance which led to arrogance and overconfidence. I used to browbeat and argue my way toward belittling the "other" into realizing that they were wrong (at least that they couldn't change my mind).
But the first President Bush changed that for me. He was a liar who duped me. He was no "Reagan Republican", and that was what I wanted at the time. He was a waffling centrist who would do whatever he needed to do to get his own agenda (secret to us) accomplished. At that point I had little awareness of how prevalent this was throughout politics.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I changed my mind. I began doubting the integrity or the positions of my party. Traveling overseas, and moving ot an inner-city stripped the last bastions of allegiance away. I saw the impact of policies I took for granted.
So now I am a hater of politics, but a lover of transparency in it. I pursue fairness and centrism wherever I can find it. Instead of being driven to the polarized sides of our political climate by the disparate positions, I have continued to stake my claim near the center. Admittedly, I have been more left than right for quite some time. But I won't ever vote a straight-ticket on principle. Instead, I try to vote based on which candidate appears to be the most fair-minded and reasonable.
Unfortunately that is not always electable nowadays. Our PAC groups and Koch orgs are lighting fires all around, driving the ignorant masses toward fear-driven votes for the GOP, a party which no longer feigns compassion toward the poor or the needy. People are angry and that makes them as unstable as drunk drivers, yeah, I think I agree. They're easily incited toward political bad choices, at their own expense--and at the expense of those they crash into.
The fact that Russ Feingold lost to Ron Johnson is the best example of how fairness and centrism can't win any more. Feingold was a maverick who voted on his conscience (right or wrong) rather than along party lines, and he was willing to work across the aisle. But he was beaten by a guy who was uncivil and demeaning in his ads. He motivated the angry right to oust a man who worked very hard to represent the progressive WI agenda in favor of a rich dude with a message of hatred and arrogance.
The reality that most of us live in the center, but vote on the fringes (and that a large percentage of Americans don't vote at all) is troubling. We're forced to take sides. The two party system is often one where there is no choice which meets the majority of the values of the voters. I think this is why there are so many who don't vote. They don't have a party.
But I digress. The problem of uninformed voters is more a problem of misinformed ones, post Citizens United. PAC groups can run ads which amplify their corporate free speech rights. These ads are often 90% lies wrapped in 10% truths, and that makes them an insidious evil. Their messages are couched in incendiary and hateful language which is meant to divide folks and motivate them to vote angry.
Those sort of voters have the right to vote, but they should not vote. They're unwitting pawns in a corporate chess game which works very hard at undermining government measures meant to instill fairness and reason in society. When we eradicate these laws we create a more hostile society without protection for its citizens. That motivates our anger even more and inspires even more divisiveness and angry voting.
I'd not choose to take away the keys from the anger-drunk voter. Rather, I would like to create a prohibition of corporate funding for hate ads. I'd like to eliminate the drug at the source. I'd like slanderous ads to end, and for PAC groups and corporate free speech to end. Let people vote, not companies.
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/need-to-know/the-daily-need/are-bad-voters-like-drunk-drivers-new-book-says-they-are-and-that-they-should-stay-home-on-election-day/8609/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=fanpage&utm_campaign=pbs
In our current political climate, post Citizens United, where the attack ads are funded by anonymous benefactors like the Koch brothers via shadow groups like Americans for Prosperity, and often girded by faux research groups like their very own Cato Institute, I would wager that there are more misinformed voters by far. Few people invest enough time to do the research of understanding the basis for their own political opinions, even less the motivations of their candidates or the track record of their party of choice.
This is why I have no party. I am slightly more informed than the average American. I've learned this by traveling overseas, and by interacting with folks on all sides of issues at home and abroad. It's clear to me that Europeans have a more informed view of our national politics and its impact than we do. There are many reasons for that, but they're not justifications.
In the Upper Midwest (at least MN and WI) we work harder. Seriously, having worked in a field where I traveled on the road 90% for several years, working in AZ, CO, GA, NV, IL, MI, OH, IN, and others, I saw the difference in drive and commitment to hard work which is inherent to a Wisconsinite. I was told to slow down and take it easy in several states in varied dialects. I say this because it is part of the problem. In Wisconsin there are a large majority of folks who work very hard at their jobs, for less pay, and don't have time to invest in politics.
They rely on old fashioned values and litmus tests. They vote based upon a couple of issues and often vote a straight ticket. I always that way for years, and that was the way most of my church brethren and coworkers did too. We were sure that we were right, and we didn't bother to look any further.
We trusted our party leaders and elected GOP officials to do what they said. This was a very satisfying position to take. It was a religion-backed, morally superior, self-justified stance which led to arrogance and overconfidence. I used to browbeat and argue my way toward belittling the "other" into realizing that they were wrong (at least that they couldn't change my mind).
But the first President Bush changed that for me. He was a liar who duped me. He was no "Reagan Republican", and that was what I wanted at the time. He was a waffling centrist who would do whatever he needed to do to get his own agenda (secret to us) accomplished. At that point I had little awareness of how prevalent this was throughout politics.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I changed my mind. I began doubting the integrity or the positions of my party. Traveling overseas, and moving ot an inner-city stripped the last bastions of allegiance away. I saw the impact of policies I took for granted.
So now I am a hater of politics, but a lover of transparency in it. I pursue fairness and centrism wherever I can find it. Instead of being driven to the polarized sides of our political climate by the disparate positions, I have continued to stake my claim near the center. Admittedly, I have been more left than right for quite some time. But I won't ever vote a straight-ticket on principle. Instead, I try to vote based on which candidate appears to be the most fair-minded and reasonable.
Unfortunately that is not always electable nowadays. Our PAC groups and Koch orgs are lighting fires all around, driving the ignorant masses toward fear-driven votes for the GOP, a party which no longer feigns compassion toward the poor or the needy. People are angry and that makes them as unstable as drunk drivers, yeah, I think I agree. They're easily incited toward political bad choices, at their own expense--and at the expense of those they crash into.
The fact that Russ Feingold lost to Ron Johnson is the best example of how fairness and centrism can't win any more. Feingold was a maverick who voted on his conscience (right or wrong) rather than along party lines, and he was willing to work across the aisle. But he was beaten by a guy who was uncivil and demeaning in his ads. He motivated the angry right to oust a man who worked very hard to represent the progressive WI agenda in favor of a rich dude with a message of hatred and arrogance.
The reality that most of us live in the center, but vote on the fringes (and that a large percentage of Americans don't vote at all) is troubling. We're forced to take sides. The two party system is often one where there is no choice which meets the majority of the values of the voters. I think this is why there are so many who don't vote. They don't have a party.
But I digress. The problem of uninformed voters is more a problem of misinformed ones, post Citizens United. PAC groups can run ads which amplify their corporate free speech rights. These ads are often 90% lies wrapped in 10% truths, and that makes them an insidious evil. Their messages are couched in incendiary and hateful language which is meant to divide folks and motivate them to vote angry.
Those sort of voters have the right to vote, but they should not vote. They're unwitting pawns in a corporate chess game which works very hard at undermining government measures meant to instill fairness and reason in society. When we eradicate these laws we create a more hostile society without protection for its citizens. That motivates our anger even more and inspires even more divisiveness and angry voting.
I'd not choose to take away the keys from the anger-drunk voter. Rather, I would like to create a prohibition of corporate funding for hate ads. I'd like to eliminate the drug at the source. I'd like slanderous ads to end, and for PAC groups and corporate free speech to end. Let people vote, not companies.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Costco Date
Today was a very good day. Jen and I traveled up to Costco after a nice inexpensive breakfast at Alterra, a great little splurge which set the table for a big savings day.
We've been struggling financially but we got some coupons from Costco in the mail and wanted to use some of our meager savings to make some purchases there to prepare for leaner times which might be ahead. We planned ahead, set a budget of $200-300 based upon our budget. We left having spent $307, and having saved $42 in coupon savings for things we actually can use above and beyond the exceptional savings which Costco provides.
We found organic chicken and ground beef, staples in fruit and veg, excellent deals on frozen fish, lunchmeat, and sliced cheese. We had a coupon for Jarlsberg, a Norwegian cheese which is a luxury item, but which was a fantastic deal. We got some toiletries which we needed, and stocked up on the basics in bulk. This is great, since we just finished remodeling a storage area in our hallway to store stuff. So now we can have a nifty place to stack bulk paper products, etc.
We're getting organized, simplifying our lives, and coming up with a new normal. That's been tough at times, but today we felt very rich in blessings and provision. We even got a break on our membership renewal, which would have cost $50, but cost 17 because of a dividend issue from 2010.
Jenni needed new contact lenses desperately, and our vision place really overcharges us. I was looking for a different option. Anyway, I noticed the great prices for contacts at Costco and Jenni had the vision place fax her perscription... which meant she got six months of contacts (which she will stretch to a year) for $55. That was a big savings over our old place.
Little blessings like this really make me happy. It was clear that in all things today the Lord had blessed us. There were little reminders of how good God is to us, personal moments of connection.
I know that it doesn't pair with good theology to think of God intervening in our lives in magical ways like this. But experiences of this sort do serve to inspire me. I believe that God does communicate with us in still, small, personal ways if we are listening or looking and listening for those things.
Today I felt as though my ears and eyes were opened, and God broke through my inadequacy. That was needed, and is greatly appreciated.
Ephesians 5:20 reads... " always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
We've been struggling financially but we got some coupons from Costco in the mail and wanted to use some of our meager savings to make some purchases there to prepare for leaner times which might be ahead. We planned ahead, set a budget of $200-300 based upon our budget. We left having spent $307, and having saved $42 in coupon savings for things we actually can use above and beyond the exceptional savings which Costco provides.
We found organic chicken and ground beef, staples in fruit and veg, excellent deals on frozen fish, lunchmeat, and sliced cheese. We had a coupon for Jarlsberg, a Norwegian cheese which is a luxury item, but which was a fantastic deal. We got some toiletries which we needed, and stocked up on the basics in bulk. This is great, since we just finished remodeling a storage area in our hallway to store stuff. So now we can have a nifty place to stack bulk paper products, etc.
We're getting organized, simplifying our lives, and coming up with a new normal. That's been tough at times, but today we felt very rich in blessings and provision. We even got a break on our membership renewal, which would have cost $50, but cost 17 because of a dividend issue from 2010.
Jenni needed new contact lenses desperately, and our vision place really overcharges us. I was looking for a different option. Anyway, I noticed the great prices for contacts at Costco and Jenni had the vision place fax her perscription... which meant she got six months of contacts (which she will stretch to a year) for $55. That was a big savings over our old place.
Little blessings like this really make me happy. It was clear that in all things today the Lord had blessed us. There were little reminders of how good God is to us, personal moments of connection.
I know that it doesn't pair with good theology to think of God intervening in our lives in magical ways like this. But experiences of this sort do serve to inspire me. I believe that God does communicate with us in still, small, personal ways if we are listening or looking and listening for those things.
Today I felt as though my ears and eyes were opened, and God broke through my inadequacy. That was needed, and is greatly appreciated.
Ephesians 5:20 reads... " always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Politics & Fairness
I've been told that I have become increasingly political in the past few years. That may be true. However, there's a subtlety which I think that people who observe my actions and words have missed.
I've certainly shifted from being a hard-right fundamentalist straight-ticket GOP backer. I used to vote on two issues, abortion and gay rights as my litmus tests for political decision making. I was a fiscal conservative who thought I understood the basis for my interest in smaller government and localized decision-making.
But a lot has changed in my life. I've seen much of the world. I've been blessed to work with peace groups in Northern Ireland, along side great people working for justice in the inner-city, and have recently been an active member in a labor union--a group I used to despise.
The funny thing is that i no longer have a party. I'm not quick to label my disparate opinions with a moniker. Other people have been quick to call me marxist, communist, democrat, socialist, atheist. None of those things is true.
I am a fan of Milwaukee's "sewer socialist" tradition, but favor a blended republic with some socialist parts and some capitalist parts within it.
I guess if I were to distill what drives my political activism more than anything else now is a singular principle. Fairness.
I seek balance and fairness from my elected officials. In the hyper-partisan environment in USA right now I feel that I have no home, and that the powers that be have bowed to special interests whose aims are to push people to the margins.
I want to be in the center, able to decide based on the merits of any issue. The fact that currently the GOP has taken an approach which is much more inherently unfair and punitive to the middle class and the poor, while girding the rich and powerful has pushed me toward democratic interests.
But if the GOP ever decided to read the Bible they espouse at times as the basis of their decision-making, and work toward equity and an inclusive nation with a focus on long-term growth and care for the workforce. If they put their compassionate hats on and come up with a health care system which will serve business interests while insuring every citizen, then I am going to shift toward them.
Life isn't about taking sides, in my opinion. It's about fairness. The person who says life isn't fair has given up, or has entrenched themselves in a side of a partisan battle. I prefer to remain open to fairness and compassion wherever I find it.
I've certainly shifted from being a hard-right fundamentalist straight-ticket GOP backer. I used to vote on two issues, abortion and gay rights as my litmus tests for political decision making. I was a fiscal conservative who thought I understood the basis for my interest in smaller government and localized decision-making.
But a lot has changed in my life. I've seen much of the world. I've been blessed to work with peace groups in Northern Ireland, along side great people working for justice in the inner-city, and have recently been an active member in a labor union--a group I used to despise.
The funny thing is that i no longer have a party. I'm not quick to label my disparate opinions with a moniker. Other people have been quick to call me marxist, communist, democrat, socialist, atheist. None of those things is true.
I am a fan of Milwaukee's "sewer socialist" tradition, but favor a blended republic with some socialist parts and some capitalist parts within it.
I guess if I were to distill what drives my political activism more than anything else now is a singular principle. Fairness.
I seek balance and fairness from my elected officials. In the hyper-partisan environment in USA right now I feel that I have no home, and that the powers that be have bowed to special interests whose aims are to push people to the margins.
I want to be in the center, able to decide based on the merits of any issue. The fact that currently the GOP has taken an approach which is much more inherently unfair and punitive to the middle class and the poor, while girding the rich and powerful has pushed me toward democratic interests.
But if the GOP ever decided to read the Bible they espouse at times as the basis of their decision-making, and work toward equity and an inclusive nation with a focus on long-term growth and care for the workforce. If they put their compassionate hats on and come up with a health care system which will serve business interests while insuring every citizen, then I am going to shift toward them.
Life isn't about taking sides, in my opinion. It's about fairness. The person who says life isn't fair has given up, or has entrenched themselves in a side of a partisan battle. I prefer to remain open to fairness and compassion wherever I find it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)