Mammon Revisited

I believe the Biblical concept of dishonest gain and greed as a sin ought to be a more visible concept within the Christian church.

The problem with the evangelical church in America is the they have forgotten that greed is an obstruction to faith. Add to that the lack of introspection and examination of the means by which the religious right have gained wealth and the blind spot widens. Too few Christians realize that their wealth in this country has been gleaned from the poor. Our "largest wealth gap in history" is proof of that. People who work for a living are no longer being compensated at a rate which is equal to their value to society.

And most people who make over $250,000 per year don't consider themselves wealthy. Meanwhile, those of us making $29,000 per year suffer for their ignorance and pride. We're propping up the economy by giving back the little we have. Our margins for survival are getting thinner, and many of us are falling off the scale, casualties of this era of sin and myopia.

mammon [ˈmæmən]

n

1. riches or wealth regarded as a source of evil and corruption

2. avarice or greed

[via Late Latin from New Testament Greek mammōnas, from Aramaic māmōnā wealth]

No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You can not serve both God and mammon.

— Matthew 6:19-21,24

Is It Possible To Be Bigoted Towards Bigots?

This was something which came up in a forum. A person was espousing his frustration with people being "bigoted" toward people they see as bigots.

I question whether that is technically possible, but understand why the question has to be asked. 

The bigot assumes a couple of things. They believe that their perspective on race is educated by sufficient experience or narrative that it is worthy of being espoused as some level of truth. 

Additionally, they assume that what they see presently as a characteristic or social trait of a group is inherent to that group from birth. This lends itself to wide-sweeping generalizations based upon perceptions and loosely understood "facts."

The nexus of these two errors in thinking is a truncated view of the humanity of any individual they'll encounter of a particular group. This means that they can write off any member of a group, or at least expect them to prove themselves as unlike the perceptions held of that group.

But, like much of what makes contemporary political discourse fraught with ignorance, the bigot fails to understand what factors precipitated what they can see today in any racial group. They also tend to stop short of doing the hard work of interacting with diverse people, who challenge the beliefs they hold simply by existing in the same world as them.

Being "bigoted" toward bigots is not helpful or instructive. Then again, one can question whether that is actually possible. By definition, bigots are not a definable group in any way which is logically comparable to a racial, ethnic, or religious group. Besides, pointing out bigotry is not bigoted, it's more clinical than that. 

However, talking about someone behind their back, although not bigoted, is pointless. If one writes off the person with bigoted ideas then it is essentially like cutting that person off from the same opportunity to grow and learn as we lend to those people we respect. So I can see how it might look like bigotry, even if it's more like shunning.

This makes me think about how intentions matter. There's a place for discernment, but there ought to be no place for discrimination. What separates them? Mostly just the intent of the individual. 

Bigots will never grow and change if they're not treated like humans. Any person who espouses some dislike for flaws in other humans in a way that dehumanizes another human being is essentially becoming that which they despise.

Beatweek Doesn't Get It--WHY I WILL BUY A VERIZON iPhone

http://www.beatweek.com/news/7807-when-verizon-iphone-doubles-marketshare-analysts-will-choke-on-words/


I must say that your characterization of AT&T and the "haters" is wholly misguided. 


I'm a current AT&T (which is actually SBC) customer who has allowed his phone upgrade eligibility to come and go in June in order to wait out the Verizon iPhone. I've had two iPhones, and had ordered the fourth generation product reluctantly amidst a year of billing issues with the company I like to refer to as SBC&T.


I only considered remaining a customer because of the hype over the new iPhone. I was hooked, and had preordered my phone on my first day of phone upgrade eligibility. My 3Gs had died and I was back to using a crappy LG non-smart phone in the interim. I had waited six months using that phone (which has now lapsed to 12 months without iPhone) because I wanted to get the best apple product possible when I finally upgraded again.


I was also aware of AT&T's illogical pricing structure. They are so tone-deaf to customer concerns that I knew that there would not be a discounted rate for the 3Gs when the new phone came out, and AT&T had just announced the eradication of unlimited data plans in favor of further attempts to monetize their services.


Well, when I heard about the technical issues with the iPhone, and the AT&T driven signal indicator issue (that's so typical of AT&T to mislead their customers), I canceled my order for the phone.


All the while I was working on hour 48 of a standoff with AT&T about billing practices and errors with my DSL, bundling, and phone. I'd been given bad information at every level, charged fees because of what a store manager told me, which contradicted what a tech told me on the phone, which was not comprehended by a customer service rep, and so on. This ordeal has stretched for 14 months now.


I've resigned myself to strip down my bill to bare minimum services (which I am still being overcharged for) and wait it out. I've been looking at Sprint and the EVO, but have mostly been waiting to shift to the Verizon iPhone when it arrives. I'm even willing to pay the bloated termination fee which AT&T has instituted to coincide with Jan1, 2011, in an attempt to harm folks who intend to shift away from their horrific business model.


And as for AT&T and complaints. First, this is NOT AT&T. That company died when SBC bought the name during a merger with the company. AT&T wireless and Cingular were consolidated, as were their POTS services. SBC then did the Texas thing and pushed out the vast majority of the AT&T workforce to early retirement. They carried their aggressive business plan out to the fullest, buying the name AT&T without maintaining the quality inherent within.


They were trying to rehab their horrible image as a company, and they were willing to pay anything to accomplish that.


At the time they did have the biggest network of cell towers and service in the country, post-merge. That was not a lie then, but it is now. They've dumped towers throughout USA in the couple of years to follow, after they gained market share. They got us in the door that way.


But when the service became compromised as they shut down AT&T's previous assets, and pushed out all that Telecordia had represented as an industry standard, the customers began to suffer. I have now had enough.


That said, I used to work as a contractor for AT&T, SBC, Ameritech, Verizon, US Cellular, T-Mobile and other service providers. I built a lot of their equipment, and was a liaison and quality auditor for SBC and AT&T separately. AT&T and Verizon were always the best two companies to do work for.


SBC was trying to model their quality program after AT&T for years pre-merge, but failed miserably. Their people just couldn't get past their own incompetence. Then, once they bought the name, it no longer mattered. They could drag AT&T down to their level, where it resides today as the worst-rated company of any sector of the U.S. economy.


So don't try to obfuscate. I'm a former insider, and soon to be a former SBC&T customer. I've been saving up for over a year, suffering with a non-smart phone, and overpaying AT&T while biding my time. I'm done being abused by this company. I'm more than willing to give Verizon a shot.

My Letter To Former WI State Senator This Morning at 4am

Wisconsin Senate adjourns; Vinehout says senators have done 
Jack Craver on Wednesday 12/15/2010 10:10 pm 

"Dave Hansen, the acting Senate Majority Leader, referenced his deceased granddaughter, and said he hoped to remain friends with his colleagues. Lena Taylor, who, just minutes before had referenced Decker's defection and said "it's not all about you," and that she would look forward to seeing who "gets an appointment," thanked him for his service and said she appreciated appointments he had given her.

Kathleen Vinehout, however, stood up and adjourned in honor of state workers. Visibly emotional, the senator from Alma who barely won re-election in November lamented the damage the failed vote would do to worker protections, especially for those at the lowest end of the pay ladder. "I'm afraid we did them a great disservice today, Mr. President," she concluded."
.

Former Sen. Decker,

I understand that you were narrowly defeated in the past election. That had to be devastating. 

However, your legacy is now far more devastating. You've tossed the state employees under the bus as you left office. We're going to suffer immeasurably for your passive-aggression.

Never forget this day. This is the day your career in politics ended. There are plenty of us who will insure that you'll never be elected to any office at any level for the rest of your life. You're the Hester Prynne of Wisconsin now, but you have no Hawthorne to craft a sympathetic tale about your suffering. No, this narrative is wholly yours.

You've proven to many that politics trump policy, and that the Democratic Party espouses support of the union, courts their endorsements, but has no qualms about tossing them onto the icy road when the wheels of self-interest need a bit of traction. 

I hope that you have trouble sleeping for the next four years. You know that state employees have already lost more than sleep. Every two weeks I lose a huge chunk of my already pitifully small paycheck to furloughs. Scott Walker will inevitably triple our furloughs and balance the budget on the backs of those who serve at a rate which is far less than our value to the state.

He also has designs toward repeal of SELRA, and the decertification of the unions. As a former union-basher, I understand the impetus for that. I also now fully comprehend the errors in thinking which precipitate such myopia. 

May you never darken the door of a political building again, and may you be instead offered no option but to work within the public sector as a classified employee for the rest of your years on the planet. That would be the only justice which would be equivalent to your misdeed.

Again, your name is now synonymous with failure and devastation. You make Bill Buckner look like a MVP. 

Sincerely,

,

Christian E. Vettrus

UW-Milwaukee

AFSCME Local 82

Executive Board

Physical Environment Committee

PEC Transportation Subcommittee

PEC Naming Subcommittee

Food, Ink. (legislatively)

Senate Bill S 510 Food Safety Modernization Act vote imminent: Would it outlaw gardening and saving seeds?

http://foodfreedom.wordpress.com/2009/06/13/seeds-how-to-criminalize-them/


http://www.naturalnews.com/030418_Food_Safety_Modernization_Act_seeds.html


This is quite complicated and causes me some great concern, since the appearance of the bill at first glance is simple updating of the food protections standards already in place and enforceable by the FDA. Still, upon closer inspection (pun unintended) there appears to be a great deal to be concerned about relative to the suspension of human rights and liberties of the individual citizen. We may lose the right to grow our own food.


The bill is uncharacteristically broad in scope and vague in language. There is enough in it for me to be concerned that this is a trojan horse for the food industry (namely the big 5 industrial producers) to hold all the cards (er, seeds) in the market. They've seen a great deal of backlash from consumers who have seen films like Food, Inc. lately, and it is clear that they're not willing to take that lying down.


This concerns me because there have been a few things lately which should have been noted by those of us interested in our food economy in USA. One is the hoopla and legal battles over drinking unpasteurized milk, and the other is the rise of urban farming.


The first is a very unusual contest between those folks who believe that pasteurization is a destructive process and simply want the liberty to drink their milk without it and the "big brother" government regulators who claim to be acting in the interest of public safety. I don't see how someone drinking unpasteurized milk puts anyone at risk of the sorts of communicable diseases that this new legislation alludes to. 


And the growth of urban farming, led by a man named Wil Allen, from Growing Power here in Milwaukee, is a boon to the urban poor. He's teaching the poor and the landlocked how to grow food to feed their own families on a 3x3 square of concrete. It's been gaining accolades from around the world, and he's been to D.C. to talk about his successes here in Milwaukee and the Midwest. He recently helped establish a greenhouse in Cabrini Green in Chicago (puttin' the green back there), for example.


Allen certainly raised the hackles of the industrial giants like Monsanto and co. when he began this movement. They see this movement reducing their formerly guaranteed markets, and they cannot be pleased that the education program will teach people the difference between healthy and processed foods, something which has been a really significant issue in our inner cities. Nutrition could revolutionize the urban poor's lives, but that would impact the bottom line for some in unacceptable ways.


This legislation would put the Growing Power movement at risk of being illegal. It threatens to take the liberty of the individual citizen. When we can no longer grow our own food we will be stripped of the most basic human right. We'll be at the mercy of corporate farms. We'll be test subjects in the bioengineering industry.


Overseas we've seen the production of potatoes without eyes and empty beans, controlled by the folks at companies like Monsanto (which has control of the food supply in Iraq nearly exclusively now). There is an effort to monetize everything in America. If companies can eliminate the legacy (unfettered) seeds from the planet, they'll hold the patents to all of our food. If they engineer foods which do not produce seeds within them, they'll also prevent the rest of us from being able to take back growing our own food, even with the tainted seed from those new products.


Remember that in USA there have been granted the same rights as an individual to a corporation. They're considered "individuals" and they are treated as the same, even though they have the powerful interests of their billions behind them. That said, they're now willing to give back some of those individual rights if they can wrest control of the rights of the individual to fed themselves from their grasp. Then they can retreat toward being an inhuman machine.


What is insane about this whole thing is that corporations used to work toward building a name which consumers could trust, in an effort to build brand-recognition and loyalty over generations. Nowadays the same corporations have eschewed this philosophy and now work toward building monopolies and brand-illusion (with hidden parent companies) without a concern for loyalty. They're no longer building corporations for consumers, they're building them for profits. All that matters is the next quarterly report, and if that means wresting control of human rights from citizens to create an unwilling or at the very least, unwitting market of consumers, then it's totally acceptable.


Meanwhile, folks are waking up to the corporate dominance, albeit slowly. We may be too late. This past election has set in motion a machine of billionaire interests which manipulated the electorate and will now stop at nothing to legislatively build a permanent majority. That was something dreamed of in the Bush II years, but W was too dim to maintain it. Now, since Citizens United, they are empowered to actually do it.


I didn't think that this would impact what I eat. But now I must admit that I have been far too optimistic. Heck, this is a bipartisan legislation, so I hold no allusions about the Dems having clean hands here. They're in bed with the corporations as well, but may be better at hiding it. 

Pure Energy Toward Understanding

"I wanna know what you're thinking.
There are some things you can't hide.
I wanna know what you're feeling.
Tell me what's on your mind."


-- Information Society (Pure Energy)


In some ways I don't believe what I am saying here. I don't really want to hear what most people think. I'm rather closed-minded when it comes to those who are closed-minded, and that seems to be the attitude of choice from the vocal conservative minority in the United States.


With folks like Sarah Palin making comments about Michele Obama which are racially motivated and demeaning in print, while her daughter calls someone who criticizes her show a "faggot", there are plenty of people who resonate with such ignorance. They're lauding her for "sayin' it like it is." They seem to champion brutal honesty as some sort of reactionary protest to political correctness. But in the process they're undoing civility, sanity and humanity.


I've never been a flag-waver for the cause of the political correctness movement. First of all, those two words are not indicative of what the intention of the ethic is. Second, politics should have nothing to do with it. Finally, it really isn't about "correctness". It's about admitting that one isn't correct, and applying humility to ones words and statements. So that term is really antithetical to the goal of cultural civility.


But the backlash from the right is simply wrong. While I cannot completely blame these befuddled masses for their brashness and disregard for the humanity of those with whom they disagree, I have to hold them accountable for the results of their histrionics. Sure, there are folks who they listen to as modern-day prophets of punditry like Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh. These sorts have been highly successful at manipulating the passion of the right and warping it into a misshapen victimstance. 


Continually stoking the fire and indoctrinating their listeners with new mantras, these monetizers of mania have found a way to profit from perceived suffering. 


They've become not unlike the voice of Gríma Wormtongue, the chief advisor to King Théoden of Rohan in the Lord of the Rings. They're continually whispering poisoned thoughts into the ear of the King. The King is unaware that Grima is actually a conduit for the wishes of the now evil wizard Saruman, who is in legion with the pillar of evil Sauron himself. 


The King becomes an ingrown, pale, shadow of a human being, dead to the suffering around him. He makes choices based upon misinformation, and turns away even those who he once loved when they come to him for compassion or assistance.


It takes the heroism of white wizard Gandalf, back from the depths of the earth after vanquishing the demonic balrog, to wrest the choke-hold of Wormtongue from King Theoden, and restore sanity and life to the kingdom of Rohan. He confronts a shrinking Grima:


'The wise speak only of what they know, Grima son of Galmod. A witless worm have you become. Therefore be silent, and keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a serving-man till the lightning falls.' 

-- The Two Towers: The King of the Golden Hall, p. 118


The fact that Rush and Beck in particular have been brash enough to state in public that they're simply entertainers trying to make as much money as they can, and that their listeners haven't cared, is the most troubling thing. There is not a place for truth or for facts to matter to this sort of people. They are driven by self-interest and delusions of what the American Dream is, and a revision of the history of what we stand for in this country.


Rush has even gone so far as to say that they ought to abandon the causes of the middle-class and support the interests of the rich. Well, we're certainly reaping that now. Folks like the Koch brothers with their shadow funding and creation of bogus orgs have changed the political landscape, and we're all suffering for it. People who are suffering the consequences of the failure of the economy, the deterioration of health care, and the changing climate are standing in the streets bearing signs in support of their oppressors. They must be laughing in their penthouse offices...


It's confounding the rest of the developed world, watching from an objective perch. They cannot understand why those who aren't benefiting from the failed economic policies like deregulation, and employee-sponsored health care are passionately fighting to keep things as they are.


Progressives are painted as communists and atheists. People who speak with civility and honestly like Michele Obama are painted as racists by people who are unwitting racists. There are those who support "telling it like it is" that will not afford the same to those who they disagree with. They truncate the speeches of their opponents to remove the context and box them in with misshapen quotes.


They claim that their opposition does the same. But that's just not true. The antics and tactics of the right are unique to them. Sure, they're successful at this point in history, but they're doomed to fail. The left will not engage in the same sorts of battles, and with the nation moving center-left as each generation grows up into adulthood, and the reality of the global interconnectivity shaping world-views, they've only got a generation or two left to gloat and promote.


Seriously, if you survey the thirty and under set, they're politically left as a whole, and it's not because of any sort of ignorance of youth. In fact, they've shown themselves to be less so than their parents. They've had more interaction globally with different cultures, more opportunities to have their beliefs challenged, and more rapid technological advancement than any generations in history.


What results is a more apolitical, center-left, optimistic, free-thinking society that leans toward european socialism. We're not that far off from following in the footsteps of N. Europe in this way. No matter what the bitter minority tries to do to change this, there will be a shift in ideology. 2008 proved it. A midterm didn't get these same folks quite as motivated to be politically active, and the bitterness of the ads certainly turned them off, but that won't last forever. There will be a rebound in 2012. 


Anyway, the point is that we're moving toward a more progressive future for USA, and I welcome it with open arms. I support open dialogue in all forms, especially with those I disagree. But there has to be a safe space to do so, with terms set before conversing that insure introspection and engagement will trump emotion and rhetoric. I'm okay with disparate opinions, as long as they're well-articulated and owned by the person who claims them.


But we're a society which is increasingly defined by the marginal extremists who are more identified by what they're opposed to. Ask the same what they stand for and they might regurgitate a mantra of shallow philosophies, but these can be quickly uprooted by simple questions.


Then again, they're the puppets. They'll not likely be able to see their own fallacies of reason. 


What we need is a Gandalf to speak into this madness and extract the poison of the corporate corruption and destructive self-interest that has hamstrung our nation for over twenty years. Please, someone, break this spell...

Brewtown Brou-Ha Ha

Here's a synopsis of the game prototype I have been working on. It's actually more in flux than it sounds, and advice is welcome.


A bi-collaborative game where two teams of gamers group together to try to accomplish game objectives and stay alive for the duration of this game set in downtown Milwaukee, WI USA. The game will involve dice-based combat, but will have multiple paths to victory for both the monsters and the humans, both fighting for different things.


One group will consist of six monsters: a cow; a crayfish; an asian carp; a gorilla; a bluegill; and two deep-tunnel sewer rats. The other group will consist of humans, plus humans with functions like workmen, fire fighters, police, nat'l guard, and some super-humans like Lara Croft and ninjas might appear during gameplay.


The game is driven foremost by the HO scale minis used in the game, and the plastic monsters. The toy value is what this Über-Ameritrash game is about.There will be multiple rule sets developed. Really, this game started with the toys, and a desire to improve an old game or two, while thematically morphing it into a game which featured downtown Milwaukee, WI USA.


At this point it's a prototype. The game is a homage to The Creature That Ate Sheboygan, borrows from Heorscape and Monsters Menace America, requires some D&D features like THACO, and has lots of other options for tweaks and alt games. 


The "ha ha" is deliberate in the name because of the twisted humor woven into the fabric of the game. The "bronze fonz" is on the map, and either side will get a bonus for either destroying it or simply rubbing it for good luck. Names for the creatures also have built-in humor:


Vince Gill: the bluegill who is also a Packer fan, but hates MIlwaukeeans because of their fascination with the Friday Fish Fry. His desire is to crush restaurants which serve fish.


Son of Samson: the undead giant son of the most famous ex-resident of the Milwaukee Zoo, whose goal is to get to the top  of the Firstar/U.S. Bank tower and fling poo.


Carpie Diem: an asian carp, who seized headlines recently as the no.1 environmental enemy to Lake Michigan. He can jump across city blocks and smash things under his weight. Very easily distracted by the Ladybug Club, thinking they are asian lady beetles.


Holey Cow: a sympathizer with O'Leary's Chicago firestarter, this copycow is a Cubs fan and happens to breathe methane gas fires from her four stomachs, and out her nostrils. She's also capable of making massive cowpies which block city streets.


'Hood Ratz: a pair of residents from our failed Deep Tunnel system, these rodents are skaven mad *wink* and capable of chewing through even the five foot thick walls of the Fed Bldg. They're also attracted to hip-hop music.


Rebecca the Boiling Crayfish: (no relation to our new Lt. Governor of WI) she's looking for her crawdaddy in one of the restaurants that serve her brethren. The humans are in hot water this time.


The game narrative is such that an event has taken place that, combined with the deep tunnel sewer failure, has caused six local creatures to grow in size and terrorize Brewtown.


The Federal Bldg. is within the now quarantined section of Brewtown, and the goals of the monsters are many, but they have to achieve them before they are killed or the feds are able to call in the antidote. Meanwhile, the humans are to stay alive and kill monsters,while protecting buildings from fires, repairing blocked roads, and achieving other goals along the way.


There are several groups of humans:


Firefighters: complete with a new ladder truck, these six individuals have axes and hoses in hand *wink* to face any challenge.


Police: one car (Milwaukee police are grossly underfunded) and a handful of officers help with attacks, rescue civilians, and keep the peace among the surviving humans.


National Guard: these weekend warriors with five tanks were setting up for maneuvers downtown, ending in at the Veterans Memorial nearby when this hit. They've not got much live ammo with them for this reason, but they have plenty of rubber bullets of all sizes-and they look scary as hell. The can fly in one helicopter from General Mitchell Airport in a couple of rounds, and it will have the firepower they need, but the rest of the military is on furlough.


Municipal Construction: several men on a job site with a huge dump truck, a CAT backhoe, and two CAT scoopshovels. They're tough enough to fight the monsters on their own with their equipment and they're experts at "catcalls". 


Waste Management: one unmanned truck full of Milwaukee's finest refuse, left abandoned.



Superhumans: activated at different times in the game when humans accomplish certain goals: a Lara Croft lookalike, with the guns to prove it; a ninja; two advanced swordplay students from the T'ai Chi Ch'uan center of Milwakee, and their leader Mike. Mike's wearing a Yoda costume he found at the Milwaukee Film office, and his mastery of push hands gives him the equivalent of the "force push". He hopes the creatures watched the trilogy, and fear him...


The two collaborative groups struggle until the game ends for a variety of reasons. There are several paths of victory for either team.

Life Isn't Fair

I think this is an insidiously evil thing to teach our children. I hear parents tell their kids this and I cringe.

Many times this phrase can be the instigator for an institutional bystander syndrome. We know that the psychology of groups are affected heavily by those who are perceived as leaders, and also that in sociological terms we see that people will often opt to remain inactive when they see need from the confines of a group. They  choose to believe that someone else will meet that need for whatever reason.

So do we need to repeat this mantra and look to our shoe tips as we face the difficulties of life? Or should we instead meet needs when we see them? Should we spare our lives and protect ourselves from pain, psychologically or otherwise?

What is life? Isn't that the question?

Is life lived in the absence of pain?

Or is it living in embrace of our shared humanity? Is it experiencing the plethora of the emotions and sensory appointments that we will encounter, and bringing others along for the ride and allowing ourselves the same?

Some Odd Self Reflections

Just a bit about me. I work in admissions at UWM currently, went to UWEC, where I was a devout young republican with fundamentalist religious leanings. I would have espoused nearly identical beliefs to Rob at that point.

But Twain said that travel is fatal to ignorance and bigotry. I've lived in the inner city, worked for peace in Northern Ireland, found my roots in Norway, and worked for fortune 500 companies, non-profits, the city, state, and now the UW System. 

I've attended no less than 50 different expressions of christianity (I don't use capitals for that term much). I've worshiped with native americans, penetcostals of various flavors, high church Irish-Catholics, evangelicals, apostolics, methodists, baptists, black urban storefront churches, non-denominational, etc, etc, etc. I've now landed in an Episcopal church--where one does not have to divorce the intellect to believe.

I'm not a dyed in the wool Democrat (yet), but I have been leaning toward calling myself a Blue Dawg (I live in da 'hood) Democrat. I've been independent of a party affiliation since 2000.

I'm actually a reluctant union leader. I'm still not sure whether I am a union guy, but I was elected to the exec board, and represent all of the union at UW-Milwaukee on several committees. 

So, I am a bit odd. I don't have absolute allegiances, or absolute beliefs at this point. I only know two things for sure: there is a God, and I am not God.

It's been incredibly hard to move from a group where I had a bunch of absolutes, tools with which to measure and judge the world, a precise world-view, and a sense of being right... to knowing very little.

Like my Tai Chi Ch'uan teacher has alluded to, learning that one knows nothing is the beginning of wisdom. I think reading Thomas Merton has really messed with my spiritual bedrock also, LOL

That leads me to the fact that I am a perfectionist, AND an artist. That means that I am always fighting between hemispheres. Life has been a strange journey for me.

"Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time." 
— Thomas Merton

Peace,
Christian

Frank Schaeffer Took The Words Out Of My Mouth

"One reason the Republicans won on Tuesday is because many of their supporters have already given up on this world and are waiting for the next. I know, I used to be one of them." -- Frank Schaeffer


http://frank-schaeffer.blogspot.com/2010/11/bad-theology-and-crazy-politics-why.html


His blog really hit home for me. It was what I needed to read this morning, the day after big money bought the biggest political flip in seventy years. It's just so damn depressing to see how the religious right, and evangelicals who I once respected, have been manipulated by a party which has not been shy about saying that it is all about the interests of the wealthy.


Below is a comment on facebook from a cousin of mine, a pastor...

Seriously, this is coming to reality all too quickly- read this quote from Joseph Stalin- "America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."

2 hours ago · Comment · 

• • 
    
  • 
    

    Christian E. Vettrus I agree that the GOP is doing much to eradicate all three of these things.
    
    They misunderstand patriotism, truncate morality, and politicize spirituality, to the detriment of all three.

Abe's Depression

"...If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole
human family, there would not be one cheerful face on earth. Whether I shall ever be better, I cannot tell...to remain as I am is impossible."  -- Abraham Lincoln


Somehow it seems more okay that I suffer unipolar depression, knowing that Abe also did, and his accomplishments stand as tremendous testimonies to how overcoming or channeling such things can be marvelous.

Money Misinformation

http://www.good.is/post/americans-are-horribly-misinformed-about-who-has-money


This article illustrates the entrenched wealth gap in USA, and how wrong my hero, Ronald Reagan was about economic policy in light of the human condition. He was an elitist who believed in that the rich would be motivated to maintain a standard of moral capitalism which insured the stability of the American society and family, to insure the future of their businesses, etc.


But the problem is that businesses don't think beyond the next quarter now. We've got no long-term business plans which require as much. People want to earn as much money as they can before they die, period. They care little for the future of their own company or society.


What I know I want is for "trickle down" to actually work.


I didn't buy it when Reagan said it, and have lived a life which has reinforced that it doesn't. What is ridiculous is that the majority message of the right is essentially in support of an even more brutal "trickle down" world view.


But that doesn't match with human nature. Some people have to be forced to share. 


The philosophical bedrock for why this is true is that they earned their wealth within the society that they currently reside in. It's enabled by the society, and was built on the backs of the people of the society and within the structures which the citizens pay taxes to create. They could not move away, create their own country and have the same success.


Even more important is that they cannot sustain their own success unless they insure that they don't take more than a reasonable share of the resources of the economy (i.e. the resources needed to make money). The fact is that greedy capitalists have become more and more able to take a larger and larger share.


Wealth is not evil. Wealth without responsibility and perspective is.


The philosophical conundrum is even deeper than this. Take, for example a race. Who should win the race? The fastest runner, right? And should that fastest runner get the reward? Simple, right? 


It seems so if one assumes that all runners start at the same point in the race, with all the same resources to win the race.


But you wouldn't pit racers who were malnourished, aged, disabled, or lacking the training to race versus professional athletes in tip-top condition. The race would be a sham and a spectacle.


Even if by all appearances the folks all look healthy, fit, and well-trained in the starting blocks there may be unseen obstacles which will hold back certain runners. One may not have a ligament in one knee. One may have had a poor trainer who didn't teach him what it took to win. 


Hell, even birth-order, something as arbitrary as there is, has a massive impact on who wins. The first born of the group have been proven to excel in the race (at least they do in school and in society). The vast majority of Ivy Leaguers are firstborn, for example. So if all else is equal the firstborn in the starting blocks will be most likely to win.


We talk about the American Dream like it's some equitable "unicorn ranch in fantasy land" (thanks Sarah). We preach personal responsibility and education as the justification for the current inequity. We fight to protect the liberties of the rich as if it represented some glorious proof that hope exists for all in this nation.


But the reality is that we've stopped adequately funding the majority of schools in this nation, we've ignored the needs of the poor and minorities. We've allowed the rich to squash efforts to make up for the inequity of birth, class, race, and disability.


We've created generational poverty and legacy wealth by doing so. We've also become so myopic and self-deluded as a nation to think that the poor deserve to be so. We've dismissed the responsibility to the marginalized.


It's something we want the liberty to help with if we "want to". But my Sociology education has taught me that there is a nation-wide "Bystander Syndrome" whereby folks thing someone else will serve the poor, or heal the problems they see locally.


I used to believe that the local government and non-profits were best equipped to serve these needs. In some ways they are. But the needs far outweigh the reach of these little rays of hope. Societal structures need to change. 


Plus, people want the police to stop crime. People want the sewers to work (a Milwaukee Socialist innovation). People expect the mail to be delivered. They demand their trash be picked up. And this isn't because they feel entitled that these things should happen.


It's that the structures of the city are set up, along with laws, so that these things must function in this way. Folks cannot just unhook their sewer, build their own electric grid, bury their own fiber optic cable, and create their own trash dump (as much as solar panels, composting, and unhooking rain gutters might lead them to think they can).


We should not tear down a bridge until we know why it was built. In this same way, for example, Scott Walker, has been selling off our Parks and public structures to privatization. But that's an ignorant approach.

It ignores why the parks exist. It ignores the amount of money spent, time sacrificed, taxes paid, and other factors which make them legacy assets to those who live near them. For example, in my neighborhood the lots are impossibly small. They were built that way BECAUSE of the park nearby for the working class families who lived here. It was part of the social contract with the citizens by the county as the development happened.

Now, since the "entropy by neglect" policy has been employed by Walker, the private citizens have risen up and done the work of maintaining them. We've put nearly 2 million dollars into rehabbing a bandshell in our urban park, and done much to maintain what the county won't. If it becomes privatized we'll be monetizing something which we already own!

What we have as working class people is always being taken away for "the common good". But it's not for our good. We don't know who is common, apart from that top group on the chart, whose interests are being protected.

But back to whether these services are entitlement... No, they are minimum serviced required to function in our society. As citizens, they have forfeited some autonomy by being born into this society. They've got to work within the structures which have been established by the local, state, and government authorities for long-developed sound reasons. They should hope to benefit from the perpetual improvement of the wisdom of time in regard to the same. They are active participants and recipients of the rights and responsibilities of citizenship.


Why should the poor and middle class be denied the basic things which are required to succeed in this nation?  They're told that they ought to work harder, study harder, and take responsibility for their futures. But they're met with obstacles which those born into privilege do not.


We all love rags to riches stories, or movies which highlight the folks who make it out of poverty to make "something of themselves." Why? I think it justifies the inactivity of the rest of us. Yeah, we feel better about the sinking realization that suffering could be eradicated if we did more about it.


But these folks were "something" valuable even before they found success. We're not willing to acknowledge it until they clean themselves up and get beyond the obstacles though. Otherwise, we'd feel a responsibility of helping them to overcome them.


Our humanity is at stake here, guys. 


It IS morally superior to help the unfortunate. It's not a self-righteousness delusion. Those who do the hard work of advocacy and social justice aren't buoyed by pride. They're devastated by the identification with the suffering, stretched by the vantage point of the oppressed, and humbled by their own sin--and the lack of resources to help them.


So often the poor impart more to the advocate than the advocate gives to them. That doesn't mean that we should keep them around... 


The race isn't equitable. The wealth gap isn't morally or ethically justifiable in it's current state. I don't believe that it should be eliminated. But if we're a nation, we're like a team. If our weakest members suffer, so do we. 


And we all ought to realize how arbitrary our station in life is. We haven't earned a single thing. Anything we possess is on loan, and we're always on the precipice of complete disaster. That's why some of the wealthy hold so tightly to their wealth. They know that no one is their to catch them.


Why don't they help to insure that all those who do fall from any height won't be smashed to pieces? Then they would have so much less to fear, and there would be less propensity for victimizing the less fortunate as a measure of personal insurance.

Get Low: FILM REVIEW

First off, let me say that Robert Duvall and Sissy Spacek are wonderful in this film. They play complex characters which are thoroughly believable. They make the film. Lucas Black also delivered a thoroughly developed performance as the undertaker understudy to Bill Murray's character.

The latter was a bit of a problem for me. Murray has revitalized his career by doing quirky indie films over the past few years since his days of sophomoric films after he left SNL. That has worked brilliantly. But this is not an indie film; it's a dramatic feature film with a lot to say about forgivness and self-imprisonment. The film is about shame and regret. I regret that Murray was cast as the undertaker.

He was pretty much the same character as he'd played in films like Groundhog's Day or Lost In Translation, a bit of a burned out husk of a human trying to make it in the real world with a forced positive affect. That works in the independent film. It's strange, and can lend itself to eccentricity-driven laughter. But in this film I didn't mind the humor from the character of the undertaker. That sort of worked. But the serious parts were just so miscast that it jerked me from my immersive experience.

Despite that, I loved this film. I did laugh and I certainly cried. It made me think of other films about forgiveness and redemption, like The Mission, for example. I've always looked for films which could illustrate spiritual truths in profound ways. I think this one is a study in so many things which resonate with every person on the planet, and it reframes them in a way which we can understand.

I learned something about myself while watching this film. I loathed the main character at the start, pitied him in the middle, then understood him by the end. I believe that the film succeeded in its utmost when one considers the journey through which it propels the viewer. It was like a bit of what makes an AA meeting or a passionate sermon inspirational. It led me to inspect myself and to consider changing some aspects of who I have become.

Film can be an evocative entity. This film is.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1194263/

Hamstring Damnstring: A PT Story

This morning I got up for my early physical therapy appointment at 7am late, as I had forgotten that this was a "PT morning" when I went to bed last night at 7pm. Yeah, I am still paying off the sleep debt from the film festival last week.

So I missed out on a shower and hopped into the car after doing my best to refresh myself and headed to the Aurora River Center to do that rehab thang with Todd, one of the therapists who has come to know me well in the last nine months.

Today I arrived about ten minutes early to my appointment thanks to easy driving along Lisbon Ave. I had the receptionist let me in early to the exercise area and I did 2.5 miles on the recumbent bicycle at level 10, which was good. No pain while doing so. No popping in the knee as had worried me previously. I even moved the seat up one more notch.

I did 4 minutes of forward walking on the treadmill and two 2 minute side stepping sessions. That was also good. I did feel some light hamstring pain while doing one of those.

I did two sets of stepping on the highest step for the first time. After that we moved to the leg press machine where I did two reps of 15 presses with 125 pounds. No real pain there. Good strength.

He had me do two sets of left foot toe touches from a low step while my right leg was bent slightly at the knee. That was tough, as was the single right foot calf raises. I could only do 15 of those.

I did some machine work with weights where I lifted with the outside of my right leg by lifting it away from my other leg to the side, then rotated 90 degrees and extended my leg behind me. The pain I felt here was on the outside of my plant leg. That was exhausting.

Still, through it all I felt that nagging ache deep within my right inner leg, just above the knee, wrapping around to the back. Yep, my hamstring, the ever-present pain since January. It has hurt in so many ways, from feeling tight and leading me to walk poorly so as not to tweak it to intense local pain when deep tissue massage is applied.

Today it was much of the latter.  Todd applied some deep pressure to the hamstring while I was prone. I was amazed at how intense and localized this pain still is. My general pain assessment at four weeks post-surgery has been less than 2 on a scale of 10. But this pain was approaching a 9. I felt a disabling burn when he was working one part, then a sensation of tiny needles piercing my skin at a different place. I could have bit a half inch dowel in half I bet.

"So what will heal this damn hamstring," I asked.

"Time," Todd said, "That's about it."

So for now I continue walking through my life with my painful companion. I'm trying everything I can to help it heal, but it's recovery has been slower than I could imagine. Now I regret giving my sports heroes the business for not coming back from a hamstring injury. I used to think they were "dogging it" out there on the field, or sitting out to collect a paycheck the easy way. Not any more. I get it, oh, I get it in a more personal way than I would ever have wanted.

Mesrine Part I & II: FILM REVIEW

These films which celebrated the life of Jacques Mesrine, the former French Public Enemy No.1, and criminal cult hero was divided into two two hour segments.

The films showcased great acting by several notable actors, and I have no complaint about the acting or the screen writing. Cassel and Depardieu were well cast in their roles, and delivered performances which will not disappoint. Still, I loathed Mesrine from the very start, and I could not suspend disbelief in regard to the legendary exploits portrayed in the films.

Supposedly the events are "true" in some fashion, although liberties were certainly taken. 

It was a chore to watch these films at times. I cannot imagine having watched them back-to-back. I  was tired by the end of each of the two parts separately. I resented being dragged along for the ride with such a horrible excuse for a human being and through improbable circumstances of grandiose mythology.

There were glimpses of his humanity, but they were so brief, and quickly refuted by his next episode of bravado gone wrong. It wasn't so charming or funny as I have read reviewers mention but I resonated with the psychotic and disturbing characterizations which were mentioned in the same breath.

Sometimes French films escape me. This time it was not the films or the culture of France so much; it was the fascination with this man, Jacques Mesrine that I could not identify with. That's odd to me. I love gangster films as a genre. But I guess that I am not a fan of the amoral psychotic character. I don't take pleasure in watching anarchy unfold or in pointless exploits of egotists.

The films themselves succeeded in so many ways. The settings were gorgeous, the acting was incredible, and the film was certainly remarkable. I wanted to love them but i couldn't get past that one significant thing, Mesrine. They succeeded in bringing about strong emotion in me, and that can be a kind of success.

I also kept asking myself what the significance of the opening scene was to the rest of the film. That was never made clear. It was an unanswered question that plagued me throughout the entire film. Was this moment in time supposed to have led Mesrine to become mentally unhinged? Was I supposed to see that event as that which led him to become a criminal? Was I supposed to pity him and see that as justification for the mayhem and death he created thereafter? I was not able to find answers within.

I can understand why others would like the films, but have to apologetically admit that I am not in that camp. These films did inspire me to loathe a historic figure on levels which I did not think were previously possible and I also learned a bit about what I find deplorable. That's worth something.

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20415537,00.html

Marwencol: FILM REVIEW

I loved this film. I'm not ashamed to say it before I say why. It was thoroughly enjoyable.


The film was visually interesting, psychologically compelling, and socially significant. I was effortlessly drawn into caring for Mark Hogancamp as his created world was presented on screen.


The world which he created in 1/6 models which had characters within it that represented himself and his friends was set in a WWII town he named Marwencol after the three names of significant women in his life. Mark created settings like a church, bar, and other establishments in which he created images that were startlingly real.


There were times that i suspended my knowledge that I was looking at dolls. It looked so very real. And the stories Mark crafted to cope with his personal story of recovery from a hate crime were entertaining, and often paralleled his interactions on the full-sized level. 


Mark seemed to thrive in the 1/6 world, but struggle in the real one. But I liked the images of him walking along the road into town delicately pulling the jeep with his character and varying numbers of friends and weaponry. The images of him in WWII garb while doing so set up a really interesting finale which I won't ruin here.


But let me say that I loved the moment when he finally put on his high heels at the gallery. It was a sign of how far he'd come since the brutal attack which stole his former life.


Admittedly, his former life wasn't anything to write home about, with a failed marriage and alcoholism as the main storylines. He did have what appears to be a fascination with women's shoes, and possibly did some cross-dressing -- a hidden world for himself which was quite different from the alpha-masculine 1/6 one he created for his own therapeutic needs since the attack. That contrast was interesting to me.


Still, there was something similar about his obsessive collecting of shoes and miniature things, and the fantasy which each represented. He had a passion for the details of both. At one moment he is very thorough in how he describes one little miniature handgun in particular, dismantling it and pointing out its features as if to bring the town of Marwencol that much closer to reality. The little gun had most all of the parts it needed to actually work. There's a metaphor there...


Mark was a Geppetto without the magic fairy to bring his creations to life. Even so, his miniature world came alive onscreen and in the stories he told in a tangible way for me.

I wish the best for him in his continued journey alongside that road to town. May he finally put to death the horror of the violence he faced, and meet that woman he loves in the 1/6 world in real life.


http://www.marwencol.com/

http://vimeo.com/user2786053