You could stay at our house for "free", a lovely four bedroom arts & crafts bungalow with the stained glass built-ins, and 1920's charm. We've had guests from four countries and all walks of life stay with us for extended periods.
We're three blocks from the lovely Washington Park lagoon, in the stylish bungalow district of the Uptown Crossing neighborhood (emphasis on 'hood) of Milwaukee. We're five minutes from Miller and Harley, 10 minutes from Miller Park, and 20 minutes from all the festivals and the big lake.
We live amidst one of the more diverse neighborhoods of the second-most segregated cities in USA, and you'll be minorities (if you're white) while you stay here. So you'll get a priceless cultural immersion experience and multicultural education while you stay with us.
The curfew is nightfall because you don't want to be out parking your car on our street after dark. We do offer a guest "club" for your car so no worries there, and have one extra garage off-street parking space if needed in our vintage cinder-block 3-car garage. Minivan to midsize will fit...
We don't have a pontoon boat, but we can offer you some discarded steel drums, some barn twine and some particle board. But you'll have to stay close to the steel drums while floating in the lagoon because otherwise the scrappers will steal them off of you. Think: Sandord & Sons with a more dilapidated pickup truck.
DISCLAIMERS: We're only five blocks from the gorgeous district 3 police station, but they'll take 25 minutes to arrive if you call 9-1-1. So please arrange for alternative insurance coverage and personal protection strategies.
We're not responsible for any lost, stolen, or damaged possessions while staying with us. We have had a car stolen from one of our guests, and it ended up four blocks away dumped in an alley with a busted column and window out. There was no gasoline left in it, and it had probably been used in a crime. But the good thing was that they left a really big, nice claw hammer and screwdriver in it when they parked it. Hey, one cannot complain about free tools! So that was thoughtful of them. And hey, your car might make the news!
Oh, and if you're looking for recreational pharmaceuticals I am sure that you'll be pleased with our location. Despite vigilance by many of us, there are still folks dealing stuff in our area. I discouraged a deal down the street on Saturday night...
*I'm only half joking, and I am not sure which half anymore.*
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